The Greatest Gifts Come with a Price
by Cilla and Dani
Summary: When a deadly car accident occurs, everything changes for Olivia and Elliot. Will they survive living this way? EO
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! Cilla (Marish) and Dani (Livia)here! We finally brought you the story we have been telling yuo guys about! I really hope you enjoy, cuz Dani and I are very excited about this and hope we get many wonderful reviews, which we usually do. :) And we've been e-mailing back and forth like mad men here, trying to get everythig just right for you guys! So do us a favor and review. I love you guys forever. I just wanted to say thanx to Essy for the wonderful title! I just ended to it:)**

**Cilla (Marish)**

**I thought it might take a little longer than this so get it posted, but here it is! We've been talking about working on a story together for a few months, and we finally got the chance to really get on it. And we've been so excited about this! Hope you enjoy it!**

**Dani (Livia) **

**Disclaimer: we own nothing except our wonderful ideas...and maybe a cliffy here and there in the story. :) But trust us,one day we will get ahold of Dick Wolf and have a serious talk about giving us EO shippers some EO lovin'! lol :)

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**Chapter One**

All that could be heard were the screeching sound of rubber tires against the winding road. The sound, so shrill, pierced the pitch-black night air. The young woman slammed on her brakes, the headlights from the car ahead blinding her. She screamed out in fear for the life of her tow month old daughter sleeping in the back seat, as well as for her own life.

She desperately tried to steer away from the on coming car, which seemed out of control, driving on the wrong side of the road. But in a blink of the eye, their lives would be changed forever. The light

blinded everything in sight, and it was just bright yellow. The young woman could hear the tires screeching, her screaming, and her baby crying at the top of her little lungs. The two cars collided and someone that night lost their life.

Everything went silent and black. And in one moment this one car accident, on a lonely stretch of road from the beach back to the city in Maryland, changed not only the people in the accident, but the lives of the people they loved.

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The day was almost over. Olivia wanted nothing more than to run home and jump into bed. She sat there, reading over some papers, when Elliot came rushing into the precinct.

"Elliot, what's wrong?" Olivia asked, alarmed.

"Nothing, Olivia," Elliot replied. "I just came to get something before I leave."

"I still have a few more minutes to go. Want to stay and chat?"

"No."

Olivia was taken aback by Elliot's bluntness. "Elliot, can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "What the hell is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem."

"You know, it's been six months since your divorce and you've barely spoken two words to me. What happened, El? I miss the old times. I really want to be able to go out and have fun with you. Just like before"

Elliot shrugged. "Times change."

"That's all you have to say? Do you even care what this is doing to our relationship?"

"Listen, Liv. I don't want to talk about this right now."

"You haven't wanted to 'talk about this' for six months! Elliot, I am your partner. I thought I was your friend but you sure as hell aren't treating me like one!"

"Because you haven't been acting like one!"

Olivia stared at Elliot, looking as if she had been slapped in the face. She turned away. "I have to go," she whispered, barely audible.

Elliot reached for her shoulder. "Liv, I-"

"Save it." With that, she walked out of the precinct and to her car.

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The cool November breeze blew across the skyscrapers as Olivia leaned her head against the foggy windowpane. She didn't feel right. Something in the air was different, but it was other then just Elliot getting mad at her. Which, she didn't understand that either.

Six months ago everything was fine between her and her partner, Elliot Stabler. They laughed, smiled, had drinks, got bites to eat, and were just great friends. But since Elliot's divorce from Kathy, things hadn't been the same between them. Elliot no longer wanted to talk; he'd rush out on Olivia for no apparent reason; they just didn't connect like they used to.

She had put up with it for six months, longer even. Elliot had always had a short temper, but she never really let it get to her. But she couldn't stand it anymore. When Elliot yelled at her tonight, it tore her up inside. She kept telling herself that he had hurt her for the last time, that he pushed her away for the last time, that she wouldn't put up with it anymore. If Elliot didn't want to have a good relationship between them, then why should she?

She slowly raised herself up from her spot at the window and walked to her kitchen. Olivia opened the fridge and pulled out a plate that had a single piece of chocolate cake on it. As she leaned against the counter top and began eating the cake, her phone rang.

Olivia rolled her eyes and sighed when she looked at the caller ID. It read: Elliot Stabler (cell).

"Why does he do this?" she asked herself. Elliot always yelled and got mad, them when he felt the time was right, he came back to say 'sorry'.

After a few rings the answering machine picked up and Olivia heard her own voice: "You've reached Olivia Benson, I'm not in right now, so leave a message after the beep." -BEEP-

"Liv, it's me. I know you're there. Can you please pick up the phone?" Elliot asked, pausing for a moment. "Fine, then can you just listen to me? What happened back there, well, I didn't mean to get mad at you like that. I'm just not having the greatest day..."

Olivia felt a tightness in her chest; she couldn't stand to listen to Elliot making up excuses. He would go on to promise that it would never happen again, but it always did. She reached over to the machine and hung up. "Honestly Elliot, you'll have to do more then that to get me back this time," she said out loud to herself.

Deep down in her heart, she knew she couldn't stay mad at Elliot forever, but it was just so hard to care so much, and to be shoved away every time, over and over again.

Suddenly there was a loud thud at the door. "Who is it?" Olivia hollered.

"It's me, Elliot. One of your neighbors let me in."

"God, you never give you stubborn son of a bitch," whispered Olivia to herself. She unlocked the door and stared at Elliot. "What do you want? Are you here to tell me more about how times change?" she remarked sarcastically, and she could tell it bugged the hell out of Elliot.

"Look, I came her to tell you how sorry I am, but if you're going to stand there and make wisecracks about it, I might as well leave."

"Go ahead. I think I'll survive without an apology. I've survived much worse."

Elliot couldn't believe how foolish Olivia was being. She was acting like she was a child. "Olivia, why do you do this? Can't you just cut the shit and talk this out? Why do are arguments have to go on like this?"

Olivia felt like Elliot just straight out smacked her across the face. "You have some nerve! You show up at _my_ house, and tell me to cut the shit and talk things out! I've always been open to you, about everything. You're the big tough, macho man, that won't talk things out! You're the reason we get in these arguments, and I put up with it all the time, I make excuses for you all the time, and I've always come back to you. And every time you just find a new reason to snap at me!" Olivia shouted. She never felt angrier with Elliot then at this moment.

"You know that's not true!" exclaimed Elliot.

"Oh really? I can believe it. This, what we're doing right now, is what I'm talking about. I can't stand it," she shouted once again. "Every time we argue, it's like I have to sell a little piece of me to get my point across, to come back to you. When I'm with you I feel like I'm whole again, like this life is worth living, but when you yell at me like I'm ten years old and beneath you, I feel lost and confused. Everything I knew that was certain in my life seems to disappear, and I get lost in a whirl wind of everything," she finished, her last sentence dry and quiet.

Elliot was at a loss for words. He had never known that. "Liv-"

"I'm sorry Elliot. Like I said, save it. I'm in no mood for your excuses, and I'm fed up with the way you treat me sometimes. Sometimes everything is just so hectic, the only way out seems to be by jumping. But then I realize, if I'm gone, I can't see your face again. And that, by giving in, I just let my father win. I let the man who raped my mother win. And you showed me that once. But now it just seems like you're drifting away from me."

"Fine, if you don't give a damn, why should I? I just don't care anymore."

Olivia's heart was breaking. They just stood there for several moments, looking at each other. Them finally, Olivia broke the silence. "If you don't care so much, then why are you still standing in my door way?"

Elliot looked into the deep brown eyes of his partner, but they were hollow and had no emotion to them. "I don't know, maybe deep down I really do care. Because any time, any day of the year, if you jumped, I would jump after you. Maybe I'm still standing here because if you jump I jump, and I haven't realized that I would do that until this moment."

Olivia wanted nothing more then to embrace Elliot and tell him how much she loved him. But she just couldn't. Elliot had hurt her too many times, and she couldn't hurt anymore. It was just killing her inside. "I'm sorry Elliot. But I've already jumped. You lost your chance; I can't go back to you and risk getting hurt again. And unless you have anything else to share with me, then I would like it if you would leave."

Elliot was ready to turn and leave, but then he remembered the second reason he was here tonight. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a note. "This came for you a few minutes after you stormed out of the squad room. He handed it over to her and slowly turned to leave, starting down the long hallway to the elevator.

Olivia opened the note and silently read it to herself. "Oh my God," she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

She ran out of her apartment and down the hall to Elliot. She saw him step into the elevator and she screamed, "ELLIOT! ELLIOT! COME BACK!"

He quickly debated whether or not to go back. And he did. He stepped out of the elevator and walked over to Olivia who had fallen to the floor in a heap. "What's wrong? Liv, what happened?" he asked quizzically. He was confused to what could make her so hysterical.

"It's Alex, EI. The notes from the fed's. Something happened to Alex."

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**So? You enjoyed? I hope you did! Now go review! Please? It takes less then a minute and it really makes our day. And the more reivews we get, the faster we'll be motivated to write more:) Is that black mail? I don't know, but trust us, we aren't lying! lol**

**Oh, and a message to all of you who are reading 'Moving Forward' that's having a title change to 'A Deeper Meanig' thanx to Kelly:) And I'm working on the next chapter to it:)**

**Cilla (Marish) and Dani (Livia)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Cilla and I have been e-mailing back and forth for days screaming "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET THE NEXT CHAPTER UP!" And, of course, it never got done. But now it is. So stop yelling at me! crosses arms and pouts**

**Yea. Lack of sleep is beginning to catch up on me. And I have a day off tomorrow, and wouldn't you know it, I can't sleep in because we're getting up early to go to the beach! Oh well. I'll just sleep in the car I suppose.**

**Over to you, Cilla (whenever you get the chance to write something).**

**-Dani aka Livia aka Diane **

**Hey everyone Cilla here! So excited to get this chapter up finally. Dani had her part done pretty fast, but it took me a bit longer. :) But I guess the wait is good because the chapter is longer now! I really hope you guys enjoy this. Keep in mind that I'm starting high school in september so it'll take me a while to update, as well, I am on the JV volleyball team and have practice everyday starting next week from 6am to 10am then during the school week everyday from 3pm to 5pm. So I'll be pretty busy. And then Dani is going to her senior year, so we'll do everything we can to update for you guys!**

**-Cill aka Marish aka Rose (Don't ask about our choice in nick names...we'll start to ramble...)

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Chapter Two**

"Oh no," Elliot said. He rushed back to Olivia, momentarily forgetting the fight. He helped her up and led her back into the apartment, closing the door behind them. "What happened?"

"I don't know." Olivia leaned against the counter, taking deep breaths in attempt to calm down. She held up the letter. "It only says she's been in an accident. Nothing more. And I need to meet them ASAP."

"Well." Elliot reached for the phone and slid it across the counter. "Call them and set it up."

Olivia took the phone and dialed the number on the letter. She spoke softly. When she hung up, she looked at Elliot.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I spoke to this guy's- Stephen Matthew's secretary. She said that he wants me at his office at ten thirty tomorrow morning." Olivia put her head in her hands, elbows resting on the counter. "Elliot, what if something terrible happened? I don't think I could handle that."

Elliot walked to the other side of the counter and put his hand on Olivia's back. Suddenly remembering the fight, she moved away, pretending she needed a pen from one of her drawers.

"Do you want me to go with you tomorrow?" Elliot asked.

Olivia shrugged. She thought of what might happen if she heard bad news about Alex and nobody was there with her. She shuddered. "If you want."

"All right. I'll pick you up around nine forty five, okay?"

"Okay."

"Well, good night," Elliot said, rushing out of the apartment.

"Bye," Olivia said to the closed door.

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"Miss Benson?"

Olivia stood from her chair in the waiting room. A tall, brown haired man, about forty, was standing outside of his office. Elliot followed her into the man's office.

"Hello, Miss Benson. I'm Stephen Matthews," the man said, extending his hand.

Olivia took his hand a shook it. "Pleased to meet you. Um. I hope you don't mind that I brought my friend with me. For moral support."

"No, not at all. Did you know Miss Cabot, Mr..."

"Stabler," Elliot filled in, shaking Stephen's hand. "Elliot Stabler. And yes, I knew Alex. We all worked together and the SVU. She was- is a close friend of mine. Of ours."

"Yes. Well. Please have a seat." Olivia and Elliot sat. "You're probably wondering about the letter."

"Well, yes," Olivia said. She folded her hands in her lap- a nervous habit that Elliot had noticed over the years.

"Miss Cabot was in an accident three nights ago, Miss Benson. She was out late and was hit head-on by a drunk driver on her way home."

Olivia could feel the sting of tears in her eyes. Elliot took hold of her hand and squeezed gently. "But she's okay, right?" Olivia asked.

Stephen shook his head. "I'm afraid not. She was announced dead at eleven at night."

"No. No!" Olivia's tears flowed freely from her eyes. Elliot could feel his own eyes welling.

"Did she die instantly?" Elliot asked.

"There was a 911 call received at about ten o' clock that night. The paramedics rushed to the scene and took her to the hospital. They did all they could, but she didn't survive. The doctors believe that she was killed instantly with the impact of the other car."

"Did you hear that, Liv? She didn't suffer."

Olivia didn't respond. Her free hand was covering her face, attempting to hide her red, wet eyes.

"Well, thank you for informing us of this, Mr. Matthews," Elliot said.

"Before you leave, there are funeral arrangements set up for two days from now. Here's a card with more details." Stephen handed Elliot a card with information about Alex's funeral.

Elliot stood up, pulling Olivia with him. "Thank you, sir," Elliot said. He wrapped his arms around Olivia and let her sob into his shoulder. "Shh, it's okay, Liv. She's in a better place now. And she didn't suffer."

Olivia continued to cry. She couldn't believe how quickly things could change. Alex had been one of her closest friends. And now she was gone.

"Come on, Liv. Let's go get some lunch."

Olivia wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She nodded. Elliot led her to the car and helped her inside. He hated seeing her so upset. He got into the driver seat and drove to the closest diner. They went inside and sat at one of the booths.

"Hey, Liv?" Elliot said.

Olivia looked at him. "What?"

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry about earlier."

"What's this? One of those 'someone died so now I must live my life to the fullest' things?" Olivia saw the hurt expression on Elliot's face. "I'm sorry, El."

"No, I understand. You're upset. So am I. I just-"

"Hello!" A cheerful looking waitress showed up next to Olivia and Elliot. "I'm Jane! What can I get you two today?"

"I'll have a number one, please. With a Coke," Elliot said, closing his menu.

"Can I just have a water, please?" Olivia asked.

"Sure thing. I'll be back with your order!" Jane left.

"Not hungry?"

Olivia shook her head. "No. Not really. This is all just happening so fast."

"I know." Elliot reached into his pocket and took out the card while Jane returned with their order. "Here's the funeral information. I figured we could go together. We need to run by the precinct and tell everyone there."

Olivia nodded. "Yea." She took a sip of her water. "I wonder if Cragen knows."

"Maybe." Elliot picked up a fry and put it down, suddenly losing his appetite. "I wonder if I can get this to go." Elliot stood and walked to the counter while Olivia sat, sipping her water. Alex's death had really messed things up. She was angry with Alex for dying, angry with the drunk driver for killing her, angry with Elliot for the fight, angry with Stephen Matthews for telling her about Alex. She didn't want to be angry. She just wanted everything to be okay.

"Ready to go?" Elliot asked, holding a Styrofoam box. "I already paid."

Olivia slid out of the booth. They walked to Elliot's car, where Elliot drove Olivia to her apartment building. When they got there, Elliot walked Olivia up to her apartment.

"You gonna be okay?" Elliot asked.

"Mmhmm." Olivia nodded. "It's tough, but I'll be fine." She forced a smile onto her face.

"All right. Call me if you need me."

"Okay."

Elliot leaned forward and kissed Olivia's cheek. Olivia turned away and opened her apartment door.

"You're positive you'll be all right?"

"Yes," Olivia said. "Bye."

"Bye." Elliot left.

Olivia shut the door behind him and began to sob uncontrollably.

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Two days later- the funeral

_They all walked out of the bar that night._

_"Get you a cab?" Elliot asked Alex._

_"No, I'm not far. I'll walk. Thanks, though. Look, I'm sorry I'm such a buzz kill," Alex told them._

_"Oh, don't be silly. It's late." Olivia assured her._

_A dark SUV drove up next to Alex. Suddenly, the driver pulled out a gun and started shooting. Nobody knew what was happening until it was too late. Elliot and Olivia dove down, Olivia pulling Alex down with her._

_"Get down!" Elliot shouted to them. But it had been too late. And the car pulled away._

_Elliot jumped up and ran after the SUV, while Olivia looked over at Alex who was lying motionless on the ground, "Alex?" Olivia realized that Alex had been shot and crawled quickly to her._

_"No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Somebody call an ambulance! Call 911 now! Alex. It's okay, Alex. Alex, look at me." Olivia shouted at the top of her lungs. She held her hand on Alex's wound, but warm blood quickly seeped through her fingertips. "It's okay, sweetie. Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me, Alex. They're coming right now."_

_Elliot rushed back and pulled out his cell. "You're gonna be okay. Alex, you're gonna be okay. Look at me. You're gonna be just fine. You're gonna be just fine. Now, just stay with me." Olivia kept repeating. "Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex. It's okay. Look at me. Look at me."_

Olivia jerked up in bed, startled and short of breath. "It was just a dream," she whispered, placing a hand to her chest. The last two nights she'd had recurring dreams about the night Alex had gotten shot. It was horrible.

Just two days ago she found out that one of her best friends was killed in a car accident because of a drunk driver, and she had been upset over an argument she and Elliot had. It was amazing how things could change so drastically, so fast.

Olivia woke up that Sunday morning at seven am; there was a tightness in her heart, and restlessness in the air. Everything around her seemed to be going down the drain. Her whole life was slipping through the cracks and she felt like no one could her hear screaming, no one was going to save her.

Olivia had no appetite, so instead she climbed into the shower and she let the hot water wash over her body.

When Alex first arrived at SVU no one really connected with her. But soon she began to grow on Olivia and they quickly because best friends.

As she took her shower, she remembered the night her and Elliot saw her after being shot:

_That night they pulled up to the "meeting spot" that they were given. It was a desolate area far away from just about anywhere. And it was almost pitch black out, except for all the cars that were pulled up around them._

_"Nice location. Convenient." Elliot sarcastically remarked._

_"Sorry. Only way to do this." said the DEA agent that met them there._

_"Do what?" Olivia asked, a quizzical expression on her face._

_"Wouldn't take no for an answer. Real pain in the ass, this one." the DEA agent explained to them and led them over to the middle SUV. _

_A US Marshall opened the back door and out stepped Alexandra Cabot. Both Elliot and Olivia are stunned and speechless._

_"I am so sorry about all of this." Alex told them, her voice soft and child like._

_Olivia started to cry. "Your funeral's tomorrow."_

_The DEA agent stepped in and said, "And you're both expected to attend. For the time being, Ms. Cabot's better off dead. If Velez can get to Zapata, he can get to her."_

_"Witness protection." Elliot uttered._

_Alex swallowed hard, fighting back tears, "Until Velez is extradited or otherwise dealt with."_

_"How long?" Olivia asked._

_Alex was at a loss for words and just shrugged sadly._

_The federal Marshal stepped in and said, "We're on the move. Sorry, folks. Move them out."_

_Alex gave Olivia one last hug good-bye while they cried and she left._

Olivia stood in the shower crying still. It wasn't fair; Alex didn't deserve this. She should have been here with her friends and the people who love her. Not off somewhere hiding in Witness Protection.

Olivia was mad. Mad at everyone. Mad at Elliot for being so damn proud of himself and always hurting her; mad at her father who raped her mother; her mother for being the way she was; the feds for putting Alex in Witness Protection; the drunk driver for killing Alex; and Alex for dying. Why couldn't she just hold on a bit longer? Why?

Olivia cried her eyes out in the shower, and then climbed out to get dressed.

By the time Elliot arrived to pick her up, her hair was a bit curly, she was dressed in a spaghetti strapped black dress, and had some black heels on. On the way to the church neither Olivia nor Elliot said a word to each other. In a sense they already knew what the other one had to say and Olivia just didn't feel like talking. Until they hit traffic.

"Shit, we're going to be late." Olivia cursed. It started in 15 minutes, they were 20 minutes away and they were stuck in traffic.

"Liv?" Elliot asked.

She sighed, "What?"

"You okay?"

"Fine."

Elliot grabbed her had. "Liv, listen to me," he began.

Olivia felt a quick sense of relief as Elliot gave her hand a slight squeeze. She wanted to forgive Elliot, but she couldn't She just couldn't let herself give in like that. She wanted someone that she could run to, someone to dry her tears. And Elliot used to be that person. But how can the person she loves dry her tears, when he's the one that's making her cry?

Of course Alex's death had made her cry, but Elliot made her feel like shit the other night, and she couldn't stand it.

Olivia quickly remembered the fight and pulled her hand away. "If this is another one of your pity 'you jump, I jump' attempts, I don't want to hear it. Just because my best friend just died doesn't mean I need you to apologize."

Olivia saw the hurt in Elliot's eyes. "I'm sorry El. It's just... Everything around me seems to be falling apart." she said, her voice soft and hushed. "My whole world is crashing down around me. Everyone is leaving me and I don't know what to do anymore."

Elliot looked at Olivia confused. "Not everyone is leaving you. I'm not. I'm staying right here. I will never leave your side. Do you understand that? Sure I get mad sometimes, and I take it out on you. But I know it's wrong and I need to stop. But I have never left your side or stopped caring about you for a moment."

Olivia didn't know what to say. She wanted to agree. But something inside her was telling her if she did, she would be losing. She'd be giving in. "You jump, I jump right?"

Elliot nodded.

Olivia pressed her lips together and fought off tears. "I'm sorry El," she whispered. "I can't. I can't do this any more. I've let myself get too close to you for too long, and you just kept pushing away. Now that it's convenient for you, you want to come back?" she asked. "I can't do it."

Elliot led back against his seat and kept his eyes on the road. And they continued to drive in silence. As Olivia let silent tears fall down her face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hola everyone! Dani and I FINALLY UPDATED! Aren't you proud of us? Well, I hope uyou enjoy this this chapter, I'm sorry about the ending, I wrote it and I don't think I did very well. But that's up to you guys to decide. Well, I don't got much to say today, or right now, I just hoe you guys like it!**

**Oh, and thank Dani for trhe wonderful beginning! I loved it!**

** -ahem- I thought Cilla did a good job with the ending. ) Dani  
**

**Disclaimers:** Sadly Dani and Cilla do not own any of the SVU characters, except our ideas. But we are starting a group that will one day take over NBC and Dick Wolf Productions. We'll keep ou posted on how this is going! lol

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Olivia and Elliot rushed into the church just as the priest was finishing his long speech. They quietly made their way down the isle to an empty pew. Elliot let Olivia slide in first. 

They listened as Alex's sister stood and said a few words. During the speech, Olivia rested her head against Elliot's shoulder, trying not to break down.

"Alexandra was especially close to the detectives at her previous job from the SVU," Alex's sister recited. "They really seemed to understand her; to understand some of the pain that she went through."

That was all it took. Olivia leaned forward and buried her face in her hands, her elbows digging into her thighs. Elliot placed his hand on her back and rubbed it. He couldn't stand to see her like this.

– – – – – – – – – –

The reception following the funeral was very quiet. Many people had shown up, but every one of them was feeling upset. Olivia stood in the corner of the room while Elliot went to get them some drinks.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" A tall man stepped in front of Olivia.

Olivia looked up at the man's face, quickly taking note of his deep brown eyes. "Yes? Can I help you?"

"Are you Miss Olivia Benson?"

"Um. Yes. Why?"

"Miss Benson, my name is Edward Farrell. I need you to come with me where we can speak someplace private."

Olivia glanced at Elliot, who was standing at the drink table, speaking with Alex's sister. "Um sure. Let me just go tell my friend that I need to leave for a few min-"

"Actually, I don't think you'll be coming back after we talk."

Olivia looked at the man skeptically. "Okay, is this some sort of joke?"

"Not at all, Miss Benson. I have some news regarding Miss Cabot's will. Some very important news. Go tell your friend you are leaving and I'll meet you outside."

"All right." Olivia walked over to where Elliot was standing, putting her hand on his shoulder. "You gave a lovely speech," she said to Alex's sister.

"Thank you, dear. It wasn't easy."

"I know it wasn't." Olivia stepped forward and hugged Alex's sister. She then turned to Elliot. "Hey, El. I gotta go."

"Why? What about your ride?"

"I can't talk about it. I'll grab a taxi. I just can't be here anymore." Olivia didn't feel bad. Technically, it wasn't a lie. She really didn't want to be around the constant reminders of Alex.

"All right. Call me if you need me."

"Will do." Olivia ran outside to where Edward said he'd be. "So, uh, what'd you want to talk to me about?"

Edward opened the passenger door to his car. "We have to go to my office to discuss this. It's about five minutes from here."

"All right." Olivia jumped into the car. Edward made his way to the other side and drove to his office building.

When he pulled up in front of the building, Olivia jumped out quickly and followed Edward up to his office.

"Have a seat," Edward said has he turned on the light after opening the door.

Olivia sat in the chair in front of Edward's desk. "Okay, so..."

Edward sat on the opposite side of his desk. "Miss Benson, as you know, Miss Cabot's child is to be released from the hospital today."

"Yea. I- what! Alex had a child?" Olivia put her hand over her heard and gasped lightly.

"You didn't know? But I thought at the funeral-"

"Elliot and I showed up about twenty minutes into the service. We missed the priest's speech and- wow."

"Well, anyway. Hannah Rose was in the car with Miss Cabot the night of the accident. She was in intensive care, but she's completely perfect now. She is two months old and-"

"Oh, God. The poor child. Just two months old and left without a mother." Olivia paused. "But who was the father?"

"Miss Cabot had a husband who died about six months into their marriage while Miss Cabot was pregnant. So she'd been raising this child by herself."

"Wow. So, um, I mean I feel completely awful about this. I really do. But why exactly are you telling me this?"

"Because, Miss Benson, I have news for you regarding young Hannah. In Miss Cabot's will, she specifically stated that Hannah will go into the care of Miss Olivia Benson."

"What?" Olivia's jaw dropped.

"Miss Cabot stated that-"

"No, no I heard you fine. I just- I- Sir, I can't raise a child. I'm a detective. I'm single. I'm the child of a rape. I could never be a mother!"

"Miss Benson, Miss Cabot's death changes everything. And she specifically asked for you. I can't change that."

"I know, I know. I understand. I- I guess I'm still just in shock, that's all." Olivia felt her eyes will up for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

"I understand." Edward folded his hands in his lap. "Hannah Rose needs to be picked up from Mercy Children's hospital by the end of the day. So you should probably think about going."

"Yes, sir. Um. Thank you. I'm going to leave now."

"Oh, one minute. Alex had a letter written for you. About Hannah and her decision of who should be taking care of her. You should read it." Edward handed Olivia an envelope.

"All right. Thanks." Olivia stuck the envelope in her purse, not quite ready to read it. That moment was about one thing- picking up her new daughter.

– – – – – – – – – –

"Casey, it's me," Olivia said into the phone, standing outside the hospital. "I have news. Big news. But you can't tell anyone. Not even Cragen. Or Elliot- especially not Elliot."

"Olivia, calm down," Casey replied, sensing something important. "What is it?"

"I'm a mother."

"What! Olivia, that time that you and Elliot went to Meloni's... was there something you didn't..."

"No, Casey. It's Alex's daughter."

"Alex had a daughter?"

"Apparently. And she left her in my care. Of all people." Olivia suddenly remembered the letter in her purse. "Wait. I should read this."

"Read what?"

"The letter explaining Alex's decision to leave her daughter with me."

"Go ahead and read it."

Olivia sat on the bench outside of the hospital and opened the envelope. She unfolded the letter and read it:

_Dear Olivia,_

_Well, I don't really know how to begin this letter. But if you're reading this now, you know I have sadly passed away. This is hard for me to write, but I really want you to know that I love you so much, you've always been my best friend and you will continue to be, and you have been like a sister to me._

_I know we've had our fair share of arguments, but we've always stuck together. We've had so many laughs, (the Mr.Softy song), we've shared the tears, the heart aches, but no matter what has happened, we always had each other. You are forever in my heart and memories. But don't you forget to remember me. Keep those memories close and sure you keep my memory alive in all of you. But I guess the big question you have is about my decision with Hannah._

_You see, when a parent is faced with the decision of 'who will take care of my children when I'm gone', it tears you up inside to think that you might not be around._

_But you soon realize that you won't someone you love and trust, someone that loves you just as much as yo love them. You want someone who is like you. That has the same love and compassion; laughs a_t _the same stupid jokes. Someone who isn't ashamed of being silly or goofy. _

_That's why when my husband passed away, I knew who I wanted to raise my daughter. Someone like me. That's why I chose you Liv. I want you to raise and love my daughter Hannah._

_I know what you must be thinking. That you could never raise a child on your own. But I believe you can do anything Olivia. You are an amazing person who has over come so many obstacles in her life–you can do this._

_Let Hannah now how much I love her, and that I will always love her. When she's old enough_, _tell her all about how we're the best of friends, and all the wonderful things about me. About her mother._

_I trust you to make the right decisions for Hannah. I trust you with her life. And I know that this might be hard for you in the beginning, but I have faith in you. And I know everyone back at the station house will do all that they can to help you, and they will become her family too. I've been blessed to be friends with you. I'm just sorry it had to end here._

_Tell everyone that I love them. All of you are here in my heart. I hope yuo will keep me alive in your hearts, your minds, your memories, and most importantly through my daughter._

_I love you always and forever._

_Love eternally,_

_Alexandra Cabot_

Olivia sat there, staring at the piece of paper in her hands. She suddenly felt numb. She couldn't smile; she couldn't cry.

"Olivia? Are you okay?" Casey snapped Olivia out of her daze.

"Casey, I have to go in and get Hannah, okay? I can't talk anymore."

"Oh, okay. Good luck, Liv!"

"Thanks." Olivia hung up and walked inside to get Hannah Rose.

– – – – – – – – – –

There was a stiffness in the way that she walked into Mercy Children's Hospital. It felt awkward walking in and not having to flash her badge and say, 'Detective Benson–Special Victims Unit'.

She stood at the front desk and a nurse, wearing a uniform that had teddy bears all over it, asked, "Hi, can I help you?"

Olivia's voice caught in her throat and she had trouble finding the words she needed to speak. "Uh–um. . .I'm here to pick up Hannah Rose Cabot." Olivia stated.

The nurse nodded. "You must be Miss Benson, right?"

"Yea, how'd you know?"

"They said you'd be coming to pick up Hannah. Poor thing. I'm sorry for your loss."

Olivia nodded silently and took a deep breath. "Can I see her now?"

"Yes. Follow me."

The nurse led Olivia down a long corridor of rooms and they stopped at room 211.

Olivia closed her eyes and thought about Alex's letter, and how much this would change her life- how much this would change everything. From the moment she would step foot in this room, her entire life would be altered. Olivia didn't believe she was ready for such a big responsibility. And the truth was. . . she wasn't ready. She wouldn't be able to handle this. But Alex was counting on her.

Olivia let a puff of air escape her lips and followed the young nurse into the room. There was a white wooden crib in the corner of the room, near a window. The soft sunlight daintily cascaded down from the window, illuminating the white room.

Inside the crib laid a baby girl wrapped in a small pink blanket. A doctor stood over the crib then glanced up at Olivia.

"This is Miss Benson. She's here for Hannah." informed the nurse.

"Thank you Diane, that'll be all." the doctor replied, dismissing the nurse. "I'm doctor Erica Garner. I've been watching over Hannah the past couple of days."

Olivia walked up to the crib as her eyes began to swell up with tears, for the millionth time that day. She looked down at Hannah who had her eyes wide open and was staring out the window. Hannah seemed so tiny.

For being so young, Hannah amazed Olivia at how much she looked like Alex. She had Alex's nose, mouth, and especially the eyes. The crystal blue eyes. She also had golden brown hair– probably from her father. With the little hair that she did have, Olivia could tell it was a bit wavy.

"There's some forms and papers you need to fill out before we can release her to you. But we can take care of that in a minute. Would you like to hold her?" the doctor asked.

Olivia swallowed and nodded. She carefully picked Hannah up into her arms and rocked her gently. Her arms were a bit shaky, nervous about this whole thing. Olivia began to cry silently as she held baby Hannah.

"My office is at the end of the hall way here. You can come in when you're ready. I'll leave you two alone for right now," Erica smiled as she left the room.

Hannah moved slowly in Olivia's arms and her eyes fell on Olivia.

"Hello precious," Olivia whispered in a raspy voice, as she moved towards the rocking chair in the corner. Moments ago she was convinced that she could never in her wildest dreams have a daughter. She still had major doubts, but Alex was counting on her. Hannah was counting on her. Olivia couldn't just leave Hannah here and have her put with a foster family. She knew better then that. She was willing to take the plunge.

"Hey beautiful." Olivia said, running a hand over Hannah's check. Hannah made a small sound and wrapped her little hand around Olivia's index finger. "Shhh, shhh." Olivia said as Hannah started to fuss.

Olivia rocked her gently and hummed a made up song to Hannah. Olivia sat with Hannah for a while longer. Thinking really. She couldn't raise a child by herself. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't do it by herself. She had no experience. And her own mother hadn't exactly set a good example. Olivia had never felt so confused in her life.

The only thing she was sure about was that Hannah needed a home and a mother. And Alex wanted Olivia to be her mother as well as her home.

– – – – – – – – – –

Olivia held a sleeping Hannah in her arms while she sat in Dr. Erica Garner's office.

"Okay," Dr. Garner smiled. "You've signed the official papers, and we have all of your information. Everything is set. You are now Hannah Rose Cabot's legal guardian."

Olivia didn't know what to say, things just seemed to be happening a whole lot faster then she expected.

"What am I supposed to do? I don't have a car seat, clothes, food, anything." Olivia explained.

"That's all been taken care of Olivia. The other night we had all of Hannah's things loaded into a van, they're here at the hospital. We'll have someone drive you two home, and help unload everything."

Dr. Garner said it with a smile and made it sound all so easy. Like once everything was put into Olivia's house, se would magically know everything there is on parenting and she would become a wonderful mom for Hannah. Dr. Garner didn't realize that Olivia was a detective, single, and had no experience with children. Unless you count the children she deals with at work, but that's a completely different situation.

Olivia felt over whelmed and lost. Nothing she did seemed to help. Her life was plunge ahead of her and she was powerless to stop it. She felt like she stood in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of her lungs, and no one even looks up.

– – – – – – – – – –

Olivia stood in front of her apartment, holding the small infant car seat by the handle while Hannah slept inside.

She watched as the men carried in all of Hannah's things. Everything was about to change. She had a daughter now.


End file.
